I believe that it is not the first time you hear that.
“Stop saying sorry so much”
But why do we feel the need to say 'sorry' all the time?
A lot of us have most probably said 'sorry' in situiations, when there was no reason to apologize.
But why is that?
It could be because of a genuine desire to be polite or perhaps to avoid any kind of conflict. However, one of the major reasons why people hold themselves back is because they’re concerned about what other people are thinking about them.
Other reason are false guilt (feeling responsible for something you are not responsible for) carried guilt (feeling guilt for someone else's behavior because they don't feel guilt) people-pleasing (wanting others' approval).
Do sentences like these sound familiar to you:
• “Sorry to bother you...”
• “Sorry, I don't have time...”
• “Sorry, I haven’t thought this through...”
• “Sorry if this doesn’t make sense...”
• “Sorry, I couldn’t get back to you sooner...”
• “Sorry , I don't agree...”
• “Sorry, I don't like this...”
A low self-esteem will result into seaking reassurance for the way you think and act. You are seaking harmony in everyday life so much, that subconsciously, you try to avoid conflict wherever you can. The results are poor boundaries and even accepting blame for things you didn't do or couldn't control.
Our Believe System
The way you think about yourselve and the way you act is a result of your believe system which has been formed since your childhood. You have been conditioned to put others first and forget your own needs over it. You give away self-confidence and undermine yourselves and your opinion.
It effects how you see yourself.
“Interestingly, in a study published in The European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers found that participants who refused to express remorse in this way showed signs of greater self-esteem, increased feelings of power (or control) and integrity”
Of course, there are times when an apology is necessary. However, apologizing for being afraid of offending someone, putting forward an idea or because you’re worried you’re going to be judged is not effective. Saying sorry when it is necessary (and not apologizing when it’s not) means that apologies are more sincere and heartfelt.
It is not easy to break out of the cicle your believe system has created and kept you locked in. Although, ones you become aware of the unhealthy clusters you act on, the way out is just around the corner.
Switching of the power supplies
In hypnotherapy, we look at such clusters or behavioral patterns as wires. We identify the unheathy wires, disconnect them, and rewire them the way it is healthy for you. Disconnecting wires means switching of their power supplies. Therefore, the unhealthy behavioral pattern is cut of its energy supply, but the newly wired connection receives it instead and becomes the new power source running your system.
Reprogram your believe system and take back control!
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